Children are the greatest gift that anyone can receive. However, that doesn’t mean they can’t be a handful sometimes, especially when it comes to divorce. Sadly, not every couple has a happily ever after.
In the midst of trying to keep yourself together, you also have to keep your children together as well. You may even find someone else, but if your child isn’t too keen on the idea of you marrying them, things can get messy. If you’re not sure how to approach the situation, here’s how to help your child feel confident after you get remarried.
Provide Opportunities for Open Discussion
Whether the marriage ended amicably or bitterly, being separated from a parent can have a significant impact on a child. Seeing you with another person can make them think that they can be replaced too. As the parent, it’s your responsibility to sit down with them and talk things through.
Ask your child how they feel about it. Multiple conversations might have to take place before they can adjust. However, you need to reinforce the fact that while you are no longer with their other parent, they are a permanent person in your life.
Getting your child to open up about the situation will make things easier for everyone. If you’re still in contact with the other parent, it’s crucial that your child knows they’re around. Remember to keep in mind that both parents have rights to a relationship with their child.
Help Them Get to Know Their Stepparent Better
One of the primary reasons why children aren’t satisfied with someone else being their parent is because they’re a stranger. While you should commend your child for being cautious, let them get to know the person. Getting to know their step parent-to-be will help your child become more comfortable and develop more confidence.
If there’s one thing that children don’t like, it’s change. It can be stressful and difficult for them to adjust. Set up a time for you, your child and the stepparent to spend time together. They’ll be more inclined to go if you do.
Do Not Speak Badly About Your Ex
Lastly, if your divorce was bitter and the person wasn’t exactly known for being nice, do not bad mouth them. At the end of the day, that person is still your child’s other parent.
Bad mouthing them can actually shake your child’s trust in you. It may be difficult to bring up the person, but when they are the topic of conversation, try to keep it brief. Only say what’s necessary, why it happened and how things are going to be. Also, do not compare your new spouse to the previous one. It can create tension between you and your child.
Divorce is something no one wants to go through, but you have to get on with life eventually. And finding another person to marry is a surefire way to do that. But your child may have different ideas. When the time comes, keep this information in mind to make the transition just a little easier.
Has your child started acting out since they found you’re getting married again? Get help here.